Hilarious hold-ups: Odd reasons for flight delays

By James Wysong

Travel columnist

updated 11:35 a.m. ET June 17, 2008

James Wysong
Travel columnist
• Profile
• E-mail
As a flight attendant, delays have become second nature to me. It’s like peanut butter and jelly, cookies and milk, beer and chips — only not as enjoyable.

Many air travelers are shocked when they arrive on time, and if you are lucky enough to be early, notice how quickly the pilot announces that fact.

If O’Hare and LaGuardia airport are among the worst for delays, what do you think the flight track record looks like flying from one to the other? One airline has a certain flight that has an on-time arrival rate of only 11 percent.

Story continues below ↓

Shouldn’t airlines be forced to change their published times after six months of such nonsense? And the longest flight delay that I have ever heard of was a Braniff flight out of London that supposedly was delayed for an unbelievable 68 hours.

Every once in a while, a hold-up occurs because of such unusual reasons that I just have to write about it. Think delays are no laughing matter? Tell me that after you read these excuses.

1. Lawnchair Larry
In 1982, a man attached helium filled balloons to a lawn chair and accidentally floated over LAX airspace at 16,000 feet. A Pan Am pilot preparing to land was the first to call about the spectacle. All flights and traffic ground to a halt while authorities dealt with the situation. Sound like an urban myth? Yes, but it’s true.

2. Trim the wait
Speaking of LAX, there is a widely disputed story that involves former President Clinton getting a haircut on Air Force One at Los Angeles International Airport on May 18th, 1993 that backed up air traffic in and out of the airport for two hours. The uproar it caused required damage control, but haircut or not, anytime Air Force One arrives at a civilian airport there will be delays.

3. Stuck in San Juan
Our flight was delayed landing in Puerto Rico for over two hours due to Iguanas on the runway. I thought they were joking at first, considering the size of an airplane compared to that of a lizard. Apparently, they grow them bigger down there and they can cause havoc on smooth landings.

4. Nuts!
A mother whose daughter was terribly allergic to nuts demanded that a passenger whom she saw eating a bag of trail mix during boarding be off-loaded. An argument ensued and the passenger ended up throwing the trail mix at her. The authorities became involved as she claimed the nuts hit her daughter and that was grounds for assault with a deadly weapon. Needless to say, a long delay resulted.

Daily travel blog
Daily postings from ‘the
last honest travel site’
5. De-bugging the cabin
An airplane that had come in from Mexico City was off-loaded and sat at the gate for a few hours. When the flight crew boarded for the next flight, the pilots turned on the air and thousands of fire ants were blown through the air vents. They apparently crawled from the cargo hold into the ventilation system. The cleaners were called and when they refused to clean it up, exterminators were summoned. Five hours later, they were cautiously on their way. I have heard instances of cockroaches, ticks, lice, and a great story about a rat. As of yet, nothing about snakes on planes.