Forever mourning loved ones lost in the attacks

Name: Vicki Shoemaker
Age: 64
Hometown: South Brunswick, N.J.

On a beautiful, sunny, Tuesday morning, September 11, 2001, I lost my son.

He was at his job at Cantor Fitzgerald on the 104th floor. We did not hear from him at all. From that fateful moment, my life would never be the same. He was my oldest child, first born. He was an easy child to raise, humorous, intelligent, handsome and charming. When he walked into a room, the entire room lit up.

Since 9/11, I am sorry to say I don't trust my government. I feel my country let us down. I also learned how difficult it is to deal with public grief. The current movie commercials for Oliver Stone's new movie "The World Trade Center” caught me by shock and surprise while I was in a doctor's waiting room. I resent this very much. They are treading and interfering with my life and will profit from such, while at the same time constantly reminding me of devastating loss.

No, I will never be the same. My heart is forever broken and is constantly being broken, over and over again.

*** 

Name: Diane Horning
Age: 59
Hometown: Scotch Plains, N.J.

I lost my 26 year-old son, Matthew on September 11, 2001. This tragedy has changed my life in more ways than I can recount. The personal elements are too raw to share, and the words are so inadequate anyway.

But, shortly after the closing of the Fresh Kills Landfill (dump), my husband and I and another couple were horrified to learn that the human remains of our children and so many others were literally dumped on top of the garbage. Our struggle to have them removed for a proper and dignified burial was met with indifference and sometimes hostility by the powers-that-be.

As a result, we formed a not-for-profit organization called WTC Families for Proper Burial, Inc. We have a petition with over 65,000 signatures demanding the proper burial of all victims. We have support from religious, civic and military organizations, from Governors, Senators and Congresspersons. Nothing has made a difference. Today we are facing Federal Court having sued to have a proper burial for my son and all with whom he died. Our suit does NOT ask for any monetary damages. We do not want a financial settlement; we want a remedy to this inhuman treatment. We need the solace that showing proper dignity to our dead will give us.

So, how has my life changed? I have learned how to put together an organization based at my kitchen table, the top of which we haven't seen in four years. I have made lasting and wonderful friends among the families and supporters, the rescue workers and volunteers who have rallied for our cause. I have learned to use a computer (albeit in a limited way) and have founded a not-for-profit organization.

I have become an activist, reaching out to Trenton and Albany for the passage of legislation, lobbying and calling and writing to everyone and anyone. I have lobbied in Washington and learned to make cold-calls and appointments. I have had to learn the jargon and the machinations of landfill usage and can now talk about the characterization of garbage and the proper procedures for "closing to grade" and "capping." For someone who preferred quilting, this has been an awakening beyond anything I could imagine.

I also traveled with a small group to Lebanon a few months ago and met other women who had suffered losses in terrorist attacks. These past few weeks I have come to the brutal assessment that lightening can strike twice. The beautiful people I met and the wonderful places I saw, including a school for orphaned children in Tyre might very well have been destroyed.

Did I ever think I would travel to Lebanon, the daughter of Italian and German parents, born in Chile? Did I ever think that I would know the people from Oklahoma City and truly understand why they aren't "over it" even 11 years later? Would I ever have attended the services for the people killed at the WTC in '93 or ever understood the double pain of having lost a loved one and having the same mistakes made again, as if no one learned from their deaths?

This has turned longer than I had intended. I hope you can call me and use my story as it is also the story of many, many September 11 families and friends. Thank you for your time, Sincerely, Diane Horning WTC Families for Proper Burial, Inc.

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